Monday, January 28, 2008

embracing my deep need to write again

When I write I see my shadows fall to the page illuminated. I see the darkness and its necessity and in that darkness I stumble into desperately needed moments of blinding light. When I write I see the beauty of the world through eyes shining with clarity rather than clouded by confusion. I discover the things I did not know I knew and in these discoveries I grow-I morph into who I am authentically meant to be. I unravel pieces of me from lives past, lessons unlearned unfold to resolve, words resound inside me echoing intimately from the pages of timelessness. Manifestation opens in this knowing. When I write I discover the resonance and vibrations of all that is sacred holding a space for my being to be. And in the pulse of my heart I long for continued moments of unity between me and all that is...I ache to no know that I no longer need advert my eyes from he, she, they... myself. I WILL feel whole, held, loved, valued, understood, heard and seen for who I am  under this skin.

Friday, January 25, 2008


The most difficult aspect of waldorf inspired homeschooling, so far (aside from juggling the varied needs of 4 year old twins with the very different needs of my 7 year old!),  has been finding waldorf inspired homeschool classes or an enrichment program that is NURTURING and IS NOT NCLB compliant! The other challenge is the constant stream of resistance from Julian. He has uber high standards after his year with Miss Mia as his kindy teacher, she certainly brought magic to the classroom. I'm sure I have something do with his need to be so particular, as I'm a bit of a perfectionist! He is finally starting to honor that we are doing things differently and learning what works, whereas the first few months of homeschooling he would say things like, "that isn't the way it is done, Miss Mia did it this way"...granted he has certainly taught me a lot sharing these very particular tidbits.

Today we went to Orchard School and met Mother Earth, a fantastic storyteller and pied piper of children. Julian's grumpy disgruntled not wanting to be there attitude grew into this big brimming grin as he joyfully participated, Mother Earth had passed his scrutiny and he was completely enchanted. However, the golden question remains; why is he so resistant to the journey?? It is not just homeschooling either, this happens throughout our daily lives from mole hills to mountains and has been an element of his personality since about 3 years old. I guess I need to read up on the temperaments because I am feeling frustrated with him. Perhaps the temperaments will shed some light...we'll see.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

blogging at last...

It seems that each time I search online for Waldorf/Unschooling/Homeschooling resources I find the most prolific blogs. I've often wondered how families find the spare moments in the day to sit at the computer blogging~ creating such personal inspiring threads about their lives. Needless to say I've been inspired again and again. After much to do, here is my first attempt at blogging. 

We are new homeschoolers, well 5 months new that is. My eldest son attended a waldorf inspired public charter for a year. Most of what we've done these past 5 months since deciding to homeschool is simply regain or balance, our breath, our daily rhythms that became lost in the constant shuffle as we attended "school" away from home. I hadn't realized how out of sorts we were until we had to be home together for months on end, day in and out. Wow. 

It has been wonderful regaining our presence with each other. I feel more grounded, calm and certainly less stressed. Although I certainly have low points, where I think I don't really quite know what I am doing...which isn't true. Rather, I just have these unbelievably high standards that are quite impossible to live up to! All in all these past 5 months has been Fortunately their have been enough moments of our opening to who we want to be as a family, clarity of our family virtues and  how we want to live in the world to keep me trusting the flow.